Day 9: Peanut butter and vagina! (guys plug your ears...)

You know what is amazing about having kids.  You suddenly feel compelled to talk about your personal things about your children with other moms.  Our conversations turn from boys, makeup, and selfish things, to butt rashes, what color our childrens poop is, and how we get our kids to do what we want.  Oh but the glory of motherhood doesnt stop there.  After spending 9 months or so months with having our vagina's poked and probed at, in the most uncomfortable of situations, we tend to lose our sense of filtering in a social setting.  Girls have a certain bond with each other anyway, but once you are a mother, you dont hold nothing back.  Just tonight, one of my girlfriends told me that she has an unusual rash on her vagina.  Come on guys, grow up...its LIFE.  After discussing her problem, we quickly switched to the topic of, what other than...FAT.  Now i know that you are thinking that talking about fat is a LOT less gory and private than talking about a strange vigina rash, but for me i am feeling a little different at the moment.  This might sound crazy coming from a girl blogging about her weigh loss, and posting pictures of her gruesomely stretch marked, stretched out, and bloated body.  But the fact remains that i am still VERY self conscious about my body.  I can't even come out and tell my friends and family about the blog that i have created cause i am scared of confronting them after and knowing that they have actually seen my naked self, in the most vulnerable way possible.  I guess what i am really getting at, is that talking to strangers and telling about my story, is a lot less scary than facing the fear of failure in front of my peers.  What have i got myself into?  What if i can't reach my goals?  What if i gain it all back?  Are these thoughts (what i like to call demons) in my head ever going to evaporate?  I am trying to push these images of failure out of my mind and focus on the positive!  I have lost 16 lbs and i need to be thrilled about it.  Someone tell me that i am not losing my mind right now....the lack of food might be messing with my head right now....or possibly the combination of that and lack of sleep.

Anyways, after that, whats left to talk about.  Oh yes, peanut butter.  It has recently been brought to my attention by a follower of my blog, that i should try the peanut butter Clif Bars!  I think they sound absolutely AMAZING right now, and its taking ever last oz of energy to fight the hunger in my stomach from telling my brain that i need to make about 5 batches of peanut butter cookies and eat them ALL by myself!


I think i have lost it.  I am to tired to feel my finger.  New rule: Blog earlier.  There should be a warning on these things...."Warning: Do NOT blog tired!"  Goodnight folks, until tomorrow


247!!  WOOHOOO!!!