Day 23-27: Am i waiting to go to hevean, or am i already in hell?!?!

Ok, so this was a BAD weekend, not necessarily with my eating....which was also not to par with my diet plan (oops)....but with everything!  So i kind of left you all hanging on the last blog, but for starters my son didnt have pneumonia.  He has a "sinus infection,"  but OF COURSE by the time we got home his fever went away and his cough went away (not funny God).  BUT i am glad it wasnt something worse, and i am glad he is finally done with it, and NOT glad that it has now been passed to the next child.  I also ended up doing well on my test!  I cant remember my percentage but it was like a B+ so i am fine with that!  As for my mama...its ok news but not the best.  The cells they found in her breast are classified as PRE cancerous...but the type that they are is very dangerous.  If gone undetected it most definitely would have turned into cancer, and its also a type that can be reoccurring and spread easily throughout the body.  LUCKILY they found it so early!  They are talking whether they want to remove the tissue around mass as well as the mass itself, or if they want to go ahead and do a double mastectomy since our family history is so strong. 

So, DICK had the boys this weekend.  When i went to pick them up i pounded on the door for 10 min!!!  I wasnt early, he just didnt answer...why?!   Well the boys were knocking back on the other side of the door and hollering for mama mama mama!  Until i heard him stumble down the stairs rubbing his eyes...obviously he had been sleeping!  I was SOOOO furious!!!  The boys hadnt eaten since 1230 that afternoon (and i picked them up at 6!), and they were SOAKED through their diapers! :(  The next day i wrote him a schedule for eating and sleeping.  I came to pick up the boys and they were wearing the SAME diapers that they had been wearing since 7 am that morning.....8 hours of the same diaper is simply UNACCEPTABLE!  I am SOOOO furious!  There is absolutely NOTHING i can do, cause i have no money to go to court, and he has his roommate and friend from work lye for him, saying the apartment is clean and that he doesnt drink (both big FAT lies!).  I am sickkkkk just thinking about the boys being in that kind of environment and not being cared for like they should be!!! :(

Anyway, if you can believe that GOOD can come out of a horrible situation...i am at 240!!!!!  That is a 23 lb difference, and i ate horrible this weekend (steak and potatoes last night, and PIZZA the day before!), so i am hoping that if i dont cheat at all these next few days i wont be retaining as much fluid, and i will drop!  Hellz to the YEAHHH...alright i've tried....i just dont have it in me to be "hip," or whatever kids call it these days...

So Dicks family is coming in 2 weeks.  My short term goal is to kick off another 10 lbs before they get here...5 lbs a week, very ambitious but i am hoping that now that i threw in some exercise it will increase my weightloss...for now.  That right, i started walking/jogging.  I literally feel like my lung are going to collapse...doesn't help that that i have been hacking up my right lung with this cough (and no not literally).  BUT it must be done, the show must go on, and with 23 lbs down, 108.5 to go, and 338 days left to do it, there is NO turning back now!  Its time to pull out all the stops!  Its go time....ready BREAK!  (sorry, got a little carried away there)...